| The Story Of Brian McCann & Holy Fire Design |
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| Written by Brian Patrick McCann | |
| Monday, 11 September 2006 | |
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THE STORY OF BRIAN MCCANN & HOLY FIRE DESIGN (Mission/Retrospect/Testimony) My name is Brian McCann and I am the owner and designer of Holy Fire Design. Although the main focus of my companies product line is Christian t-shirts, I also plan to eventually move into the realm of multimedia, which will encompass 2D and 3D graphic design, video, and music production. When the idea of starting this business entered my mind, my thought was to enable myself to do something I love, support my family, and to do it all for the kingdom of God all at the same time. Well it’s happening, but never underestimate the power of patience (Ouch! yeah it hurts sometimes). Of course, it’s becoming more of a ministry than I imagined, and the reason I probably didn’t imagine it quite so clear is because it’s natural for most humans to get stuck in: What can I do, me, me, me, I got a great idea, maybe I can make this work? The reality is that God is revealing who I am, and who I’m not. The further I enter this endeavor sinful dysfunctions are torn from me, and I am left with an intense burden in my spirit to intercede for the people God has called me to reach. It’s the difference between a good idea and a holy mandate, flesh and spirit. Holy Fire’s style comes from several different genres. I find it amazing how much fashion and art are transformed by music and sometimes visa versa. I try to create a culmination of different styles that stem from spheres of influence I’ve been in contact with over the years. With that said I now want to give you brief history of my life and my testimony. I am 32 years old that should help you get a picture of the time line in this story. I grew up in central Ohio, about an hour northeast of Columbus. My favorite cartoons as a kid were Robotech, Battle of the Planets, Transformers, Voltron, Thundercats, and G.I. Joe. My favorite TV shows were Twilight Zone, Star Trek, Battle Star Galactica, Knight Rider, A-team, and the list goes on. The movies that inspired me where movies like Star Wars, The Road Warrior, The Black Hole Highlander, Aliens, Legend, Flash Gordon, Dune, and that’s a small list. I tell you all this to paint a fitting picture of the kind of media that influenced me growing up. Yeah I was a Geek (did I say “was”?). As I moved on through life it was apparent that God had gifted me in the arts. I was the first-born and playing football with the other guys was out. Don’t want to hurt the baby. I was allowed to play a little soccer though. I guess they figured if I broke my legs I could still use my hands to create. I was encouraged to be active in the performing arts as well. Musicals, dance, you know, tough guy stuff. By the time I reached 6th grade I was starting to become popular. I thought now’s my chance to fit in. So much for the pipe dream. My Dad decided he wanted his kids (who all grew up in the suburbs) to experience the rewards of farm life. So we did, we moved to the middle of nowhere and I was forced to (try to) make new friends. At first I fit right in, everyone thought I was cool, but wait a minute, you mean you don’t play football? No sports at all! So I was summarily put to death (just kidding, obviously, but it felt like it). I might as well have been dead. I was officially an outcast. I remember being at a football game (by this time I declared that I hated sports and jocks, so I was just bored), I looked over to the basketball courts and noticed the freaks. By freaks I mean the social outcasts (skaters, punks, goths, metal heads, hoods, etc.). I was alone because I felt nobody liked me, but I figured if I could just get in with the freaks I would be accepted, and I was right. Most of them were artists, not only that, but they were the best. We were called art fags by the jocks and their brood, but we felt like the elite in our minds. We went to college parties, bon fires, had the best drugs, and the best music. We were the underground freaks who were on top of the world! As far as the music, we listened to bands that we all put in the category of alternative music like the Clash, Misfits, Minor Threat, Sisters of Mercy, Ministry, Front 242, Skinny Puppy, The Cure, and even some classic rock. When it came to the drugs, weed and LSD were the drugs of choice. I should also add that prior to being fully submersed into this culture my father was killed instantly in a car accident. This was the kick that knocked me off the edge. It was my father that was profound in my early salvation experience (he was even our youth group leader). So many people loved him and now there was a great hole in our lives without him. College. Yeah it was short and sweet and very confusing. Prior to my first year in college I was introduced to one of local alternative club owners and he was told to take care of me, which meant that even though I was 18, I could now drink. Pretty much every club turned out that way and I frequented them often. The amazing thing is, I still got great grades and remained very competitive. Between my first and Second year in college I traded my hippy-eske hair for a mohawk, spikes, chains, dog collar, and even donned a hand made leather studded cat of nine tails on the side of my belt. Sometime either right before my third year or just during I had one of the most frightening and profound experiences happen to me. I found my self dating a witch. Well, she told me she was now a good witch. I pretty much figured it was all the same hell in a hand basket. She told me that when she dabbled in dark magic, the spirit (demon) she evoked to cast her (their) spells was now always trying to pull her into her sleep and torment her. For all of you who play with fire, you will get burned. This next little story involves me and my gothic witch girlfriend (the things that people write), and it is a pivotal point in Gods restoration in my life. What I’m about to tell you might sound like it came right out of a Hell Blazer comic book, a real life Constantine story. It happened and even though I was under the influence there was definitely demonic activity at work, as well as, Godly. A battle. So I went to her house, but not without some goodies. I brought several hits of acid, and a bunch of whip-its. Anyway, our trip was going great! We were sitting in her bedroom Indian-style facing each other, and the acid was kicking in pretty good. I had forgotten about the nitrous and just happened to look over and saw it lying next to me. What a great idea! I cracked my first balloon and held it. I started to see what looked like sentences spiraling in circles going in an old school dial formation. When I came out of it, I couldn’t remember what the circles were spelling out, but knew it was something. You see each time I took the nitrous it lasted maybe 20 seconds. So I took some more. I shouted, “That’s it!” “ What’s it?” She replied. “I don’t know, but whatever IT is, I know that’s IT!” I pressed on, holding it even longer. I’m not sure how long this lasted, but it’s the last one that took me somewhere other than just that little room we were sitting in. The circles of course were there, but there was something else this time. I could literally see the blood vessels in my eyes constricting and then all at once darkness. I found myself hovering in darkness and then I noticed something below me, a vast pit filled with snake-like strands or wires (they looked liked snakes, but I could tell they weren’t), and upon closer inspection I could see that there were actually people bound to point of deformation inside these strands. They were all writhing over and under each other, and suddenly I heard voices telling me to get out of there, that not everyone has a chance to get out. Suddenly it seemed as if one of these beings pulled it’s head out of it’s bondage and motioned me to look at the end of where I was heading before I got there. At that, it was pitch black again. Then there appeared a solitary figured in front of me enshrouded in black. This being had similar characteristics of the girl I was sitting in the room with except for a few details. She had no pupils, no iris, and no whites. Her eyes were solid black. She (the creature) also had this most hellacious smirk on her face, cold and evil. Then she spoke, “You’re Dead, your life means NOTHING.” At that, I instantly came back to reality and got in my girlfriend’s face and said, “what the #@%! did you just say to me?” She said, “Nothing, except maybe what you where talking about, that being IT.” Needless to say I probably shook her up a bit. I told myself, “Don’t freak out man, your just tripping.” So I blew it off. Shortly afterward I broke up with her. The next week my brother would be coming up for Lollapalooza. This episode was far from over. My brother arrived and he was stoked! Ready for Lollapalooza (for those of you who don’t know Lallapalooza is an alternative music festival that was started by Perry Farrell of Jane’s Addiction.) We were both really excited for what lay ahead. Almost as soon as he got to my apartment, he proceeded to show me his new and improved whip-it dispenser. No more silly balloons, just lock and load and shoot it right into your lungs. I have to say I was a little hesitant to jump into that mess again considering what took place the week prior to his visit, but I agreed to go pick up some more cartridges. Well we picked them up from the store and headed out to a friend's to pick up some acid (do you see a pattern forming here?). Well since I was such a professional drug user and driver too, I figure why not mix it up a bit. Stupid. Very stupid. So I had my brother load me up with some nitrous. To his credit he did ask if I thought it was a good idea. I said, “No problem, I can handle it.” Can you guess what happened? I blacked out and hit the wall of an overpass. “What the @%#$ are you doing?” My brother asked in terror as paraphernalia rained all over the interior of the car. We had a flat tire on the front passengers side and some minor scratches on the car. My brother and I were fine for the most part. Shaken a bit we proceeded to change the tire, which seemed to take forever, and got back on the road to my friends house. Almost as soon as we opened the door of our destination a big fat joint was handed to my brother and I to share. After a few puffs we looked at each other and said, “Dude, did that even happen (car accident)?” “I don’t know man, that was crazy” Then my friend motioned me to come back to his room to show me the acid. When he pulled out the sheet it had a printed design of millions of eyes staring at a crucifixion of Christ in the middle. “Check it out man, isn’t that cool?” My friend said. Slightly disturbed by the image I half-heartedly said, “Yeah, man, cool.” He cut me off a ten strip and my brother and I where on our way and ready to throw caution to the wind, we split the hits. When we got to my apartment my brother was in rare form. He was going to town on the whip-its and kind of dancing around my living room to the tunes that were playing. Me on the other hand took the road of the introvert and pulled out my sketchbook to see what kind of trippy designs I could come up with. With what happened the week prior, and now the car accident, I had no desire to hit the nitrous, so I just sketched. I was really getting into my drawing. I started with the face of a man and worked up from the top of his head, creating all sorts of subliminal designs filled with words and it all seemed to form a large head of a lion. As I worked back to the other side of the page a figure appeared parallel to the other except he appeared upside down and backwards. It was finished and all at once I received revelation. The enemy had literally turned me upside down and backwards, leaving me totally lost and confused. The very moment I finished the sketch my brother sat down next to me on the couch and said, “Hey man, have you ever heard the screams before?” As soon as he spoke those words something broke on the inside of me. I did know what he was talking about, at least in a spiritual sense and we both began to cry. After sharing our similar experiences with one another and getting some sleep after a very long night I sold all my music and got enough money to buy a new tire. I really jumped off the deep end to get things straight. I even called my Mother for help and told her everything. Of course she came over right away and prayed with me while my brother slept. Yeah, I snapped. After that I was clean and sober for about six months, but it didn’t really take with my brother. In fact, it was almost as if he forgot everything that took place. After that six months was over all it took was one bummed cigarette and I was back to my old ways. I wish I could tell that the salvation and deliverance process was instantaneous, but I would be lying. It would be about another five years before I made a very significant declaration on my twenty-third birthday, and that was “Lord, I know I’ve been riding the fence for a long time, but from here on out no matter how many times I fall or fail, I will get back up and continue walking towards you.” It was my declaration to say that I wasn’t going to turn away anymore, that I wasn’t going to be a crisis Christian anymore. Never again would I be going to Jesus just when I needed out of a jam, but I would go to him for anything and everything, building a real relationship. That’s exactly what Jesus wants, a relationship. Shortly after that I was reunited with a special friend of mine named Sarah. We grew up together during the old church days when my father was our youth group leader. When we were kids we had no idea that we both liked each other (in the girlfriend/boyfriend sense), but a mutual friend of ours gave us each other’s phone numbers and we couldn’t stop talking to each other. We couldn’t take it anymore; we had to get married. We have been blessed with three beautiful children and have been married now for almost eight years. This is just a small part of my testimony. Even as I type God is still working on and in me, continually nurturing and molding me into his likeness. One thing is for sure, He is faithful, and the good work that He starts in you, He is sure to finish. Whether it’s poor self-esteem, drug abuse, or any of the other stuff that seems to go hand in hand, God can and will deliver you. Be encouraged. Brian McCann CEO Holy Fire Design www.holyfiredesign.com This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it Trackback(0)
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